Confessions of a mustard seed.

"Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” (Mark 4:30-32 NIV)

So often I feel so small. So tiny and fragile and vulnerable. So weak and unable to do anything, that this world around me is too overwhelming and more than I could ever bear. But I enter a season now of growth, once the tiniest seed of all the seeds of the earth, God has planted me and caused me to grow. And as I expand-I become more and more alien to myself. Who am I now? I'm not who I was, but I'm still more and more myself. I am a me I have never known. My reach and my being is growing much more than that tiny seed I have always known myself to be. I want to bury my head back in the soil and hide, but I must admit that the view is increasingly clearer and more beautiful than I have ever imagined. I must cling onto the true vine and trust him, for he makes my feet light like a deer and shows me which way I should go. To you my Lord I surrender my whole being-even if I don't understand who I am anymore or who I am becoming.

An introvert's struggle in Christian community

Recently I’ve been increasingly struggling with my introversion- and I say “struggling” because some part of me feels like I shouldn’t be this way, that it’s not helpful to others or not right for some reason. I’m supposed to be loving others…but I just…can’t? In bigger gatherings where a lot is going on, I can see people socialising and chatting happily and full of energy. But when I think about where I stand, I am instead overwhelmed and can’t seem to even muster the energy to open my mouth and speak, let alone engage in a solid conversation with (God forbid) more than one person! I realise that I end up standing or sitting somewhere near the edge of the room just absorbing my surroundings, simultaneously wanting to escape into a quieter place but also to stay and be part of it all. 

And somehow while I am wrestling with all of this, I feel God’s call to speak-not just with the person who is next to me, but up the front - in front everyone. In the sharp spotlight of people’s gaze. Somehow when all I want to do is stand and watch at the back of the room, I must stand and speak at the front of the room. Every fibre of my being wrestles with this and fights against it. But my heart beats deep within me and I know that the thoughts inside my head are important. I can’t keep them within myself but must share them. For somehow, God has chosen to inspire thoughts and ideas that aren’t just for myself but to bless others. 

So I actually want to take this moment to say sorry and thankyou. Sorry that often you may find that I don’t take active steps to come up to you and say hello or to greet you, that in fact I may sometimes do the opposite and hide or say nothing at all. I’m not trying to ignore you and its not because I don’t like you or acknowledge your presence. It’s just that I’m struggling. I want to communicate to you that I see you and that I value you, but I can’t sometimes. In my head I say your name and I feel happy that you’re here, but I can’t manage to tell you. I can imagine that there must be huge gap between what happens in my head and what I express outwardly. This is my struggle and weakness.

But also thankyou. Especially to the extroverts. I’m so thankful for the body of Christ, and that others seem to be able to socialise and communicate and welcome others so naturally! I’m always thankful when I see people that I wish I could greet and welcome, and you guys step in and show your love and care. Every time I see this I rejoice (on the inside lol). I’m so thankful that we can be a community that loves together-that this mission isn’t limited by my inabilities and weaknesses. Thank you for loving one another and thank you also for those that take the 100 steps towards me to greet me when I don’t seem to have the social energy to even take 1. For helping me feel a part of it when it’s easier for me to feel distant from it all.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

How to set yourself up for the new year :)

Hey Friends!

I would normally type up and post something like this here on my blog, but this time I decided to make a video instead! Here's 6 things I personally did, to set myself up for the new year! Feel free to let me know:

• How do you prepare for the new year?
• What are some of your goals for 2016?

Hope you enjoy :)

<3 Debbs

Stillness-where art thou?

Stillness is not a place. You won't be able to find it on a map, you can't find it merely by looking. In fact, it has not much to do with external factors at all. You could travel to the quietest beach, the most heavenly park, and not be still. Stillness is a state of the heart, mind and spirit. Jesus had so much stillness in him that he could sleep while the boat thrashed and thrived wildly amidst the storm all around him. And we can carry this same stillness with us-no matter how tumultuous our circumstance-when this same Lord lives in us by his Spirit, and we choose to trust in Him with all our hearts.

Home

Hey guys!

This is a poem/piece of writing I wrote from 27/12/15.

God is parting the seas,
but this time
He is leading his people
straight to their heavenly home,
where they will worship him forever.

His children are homesick
In worship they thirst for Him
they long to be home
free from the bondage of this world.

He hears their cries
He honours their prayers
He will answer
He will come to them like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.

This world is soon coming to an end,
What we know will be gone
like a mist,
But his love endures forever.
Nothing will separate us from the love of Christ.

His faithfulness will endure
from this side of eternity into the next
and no one and nothing could take us
from the grasp of his hands.

He holds us close to his heart
He will protect us when the time comes,
Nothing will harm us by day or by night
for under his wings we will find refuge.

This is the love of our Father
His goodness knows no end
His glory radiates forever
May the name of the Lord be praised
for He alone is worthy.

6 practical tips on encouraging others

"Worry weighs a person down; but an encouraging word cheers a person up." 

Proverbs 12:25

I think we've all had days or times where we've felt down, unmotivated, discouraged, or afraid. and if you're lucky like me, you've also experienced the power of a single, encouraging statement. It doesn't even have to come at a time when you're feeling low, as a general rule of thumb, encouragement gives you that extra boost in the day and stride in your step to lift you up and shine a ray of sunshine on your path. So I randomly came up with 6 practical tips on how to share the gift of encouragement to others :)

wait sorry before I launch into the specifics, the overarching umbrella is from Mark 12:31 "Love your neighbor as yourself." or in other words, approach encouragement the way you would want to be encouraged :) 

1. Be Specific

Choose something specific which you particularly appreciated rather than something generic

eg. "I love how you did an epic build up on the drums during the bridge! It really suited the lyrics and added to the energy!" Rather than just "You're good at music"

2. Don't wait for the "right time" to encourage someone

Even if it's 5 days later over a fb message at 10pm, just say it! I'm sure it will make their day-only you feel self conscious about it. In any case, doesn't it make you extra happy when someone randomly messages you to encourage you? :)

3. Encourage anyone and everyone!

Don't hold back and only encourage your best buddies for life. If a stranger or someone you just met does something that you appreciated, let them know! In fact, it will be even more flattering coming from someone new.

4. Encourage them to keep doing what you think they're doing well

Sometimes people aren't aware that things they are doing are good/helpful/significant, affirm them so they can be more intentional about continuing it in the future, it makes the world of difference. 

Eg. I want to encourage you to keep using gestures when you give a talk, it really helps to engage the audience!

5. Don't neglect leaders or people you think it should be "obvious" for

If someone is "obviously" good at singing, don't dismiss your encouragement because you think they probably already know, imagine if everyone else thought the same thing and held back? That person (like all humans) is still prone to feelings of insecurity or self doubt. Same with leaders, encouraging your leaders does wonders in motivating their leadership of the group, even if they "seem" confident in themselves. Everyone needs a word of encouragement, even superman does. (see song "It's not easy" by clicking here)

6. Don't be afraid to get personal. 

If something someone said or did genuinely made an impact on you in some way, share how with them! They may not have thought that much about it and so would be pleasantly surprised to see that some "small" thing they did or said was able to make a difference in your life.

These are just my thoughts though-please comment below if you have any other tips you want to add, or any stories of where encouragement made a difference in your life. :) Thanks for reading, I really appreciate how you took the time to read my blog post which was admittedly a bit long and I hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. X)

During this past year while I had mild depression, my mum has been a massive source of encouragement and support. It has made a world of difference :) 

ask me about it if you'd like to find out more!

02.01.16 A prayer of longing

Dear God,

My heart is so prone to wonder. So easily I fall in and out of love of idols. They capture my affections and consume my thoughts. Out of proportion I chase after them, they capture my fancy and my imagination. Whether it be food or a man, satan whispers their worth in my ear, 'bow down to them' he tells me. Blinded by what's in front of me I lose my whole hearted devotion to you. I dance with the world. 

But Lord I want to love you with all my heart, mind and soul. Only you are worthy of my worship. Only to you belongs all the praise forever. Lord will you still my wondering heart and bring me back to you? Will you crush these idols and altars, these meaningless longings and direct all my affections to you? For what goodness is there outside of you? None my Lord. Any other answer comes straight from the lips of the enemy. 

Lord give me a fixed gaze upon my saviour Jesus, and help me to throw off everything that hinders, my sin that so easily entangles. Help me to thirst after you and your word and righteousness and holiness. For to these I have been called and reborn to live for. Help me Lord for I am weak against the spiritual forces of evil but you have overcome satan and the world and sin and death. 

Thankyou that you are the only one who is Almighty and sovereign and God. Lord of lords and king of Kings. May my knees only bend at your name, the name of Jesus Christ. For he alone is worthy, the lamb who was slain for the sins of the world! Help me love you more!

"help me to know continually that there can be no true happiness, no fulfilling of thy purpose for me, apart from a life lived in and for the Son of thy love."

Deb