The plans of my Father

Oh how many good plans God has for me-that will unfold before my very eyes in His perfect timing!

And we know that in all things

 God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose. 

For those God foreknew he also predestined 

to be conformed to the image of his Son, 

that he might be the firstborn 

among many brothers and sisters. 

(Romans 8:28, 29 NIV)

Amidst my wanderings...

Dear Father,

I feel very...broken. 

Discouraged, hopeless, weak, 

estranged from you and your love. 

I need you father, 

but I'm looking for love 

in all the wrong places, 

my heart aches

 because it longs for you, 

yet I only give it 

the fleeting pleasures if the world.

 I want to be alone. 

With you

 I want to dwell in your presence 

and bask in you. 

I want the world to fall silent behind me, 

take me to that place

 where it's just you and me

Where nothing else matters 

but the life and love of a Heavenly Father.

Actual update #1

Hey there! It's been a while, and I'm conscious of the fact that I still haven't really given an actual update of life here in Queensland. 

(this post is probably more tailored to close friends/family whose eyelids won't close in boredom from reading a long, painfully detailed description of my life :P )

A lot yet kind of not much has happened....(wow, really useful and enriching statement!)

Let me take a little tip-toe back down memory lane..

The first night was...really strange. It felt surreal to be in a completely new place, with the reality of living independently (whatever that means) still a vague cloud hanging over me. I had finally done it though, I had taken the first leap outside of my comfort zone and survived. But what happens next is still a mystery to me..

The next day was  a Sunday-time to visit my first Brisbane church! I remember as I was walking along the unfamiliar path to the bus stop, there was this tree that had really beautiful, big yellow flowers. I picked one off the ground and just felt so happy :) As I was walking to the church, there was also a really clean, crisp frangipani which I picked up as well...oh the little things God gives to remind us of His presence :)

Meeting my new roomie a few days later was a massive highlight! The thing with this apartment was that it was kind of a sudden decision borne out of desperation! (aka. confirmed 1 week before moving! :P) I had been praying for a few weeks/months now for God to "prepare a place for me" (church-wise/accommodation/friends/ministry etc.) and unsurprisingly, God had fully answered my prayers to the max with my new roomie Michelle! She's an older sister in Christ who is just so friendly and similar in ways! :) We've decided to have a weekly 'canto night' to eat Chinese food and practice our minimal Cantonese skills...

Night 1: Dumplings (from scratch!) with asian veges + garlic soy sauce!

Night 2: Steamed dried fish with asian sausage, vegetables and brown rice

so good!

anywaysss

Going to Uni has been interesting, I quite like my subjects (Psychology, public health, anatomy, chemistry) and there is definitely a wider variety of people @ Uni. That being said, I haven't really gotten to know too many people. (Maybe avoiding massive social events/parties has played a role...) It's harder to be close to people, which makes me really miss my friends back in Sydney :(

Here's the St Lucia campus:

Hmm what else...

My sister visited all the way from Sydney on her birthday/the weekend which was really nice! We ate and made a LOT of food! such as some home-made toasted granola which I've basically been eating for breakfast everyday since!

(vanilla yoghurt, soy milk, apples, muesli, dried apricot, sultanas, toasted pistachios/oats/pumpkin seeds/cashews)

In general...

I've felt pretty normal. The weeks leading up to moving here were a lot harder, and I thought I would be a lot sadder/lonely/depressed, but surprisingly (by God's grace) everything has been going alright! (apart from my accumulating mountain of uni work...haven't studied since HSC = forgotten how to...)

There are days of exhaustion, confusion and flustering about as I try and figure out what I need to get done. Times of tiredness where I forget that I actually need to find rest in God each day, but also moments of relief as God comforts me in my rebellion.

*Jumps forward* Back to the present, I recently got my brand-spanking-new-shiny-glossy-smart phone! (hence the above pictures!) which is very exciting but equally concerning as I have found it is already a black hole for time.

Anyways, I think that's enough ramble for now, (I commend you dear reader for getting this far! I would give you something but I got nothing...but this epic emoticon which was manly enough to grow a beard: >:{D)

My dear child, I wonder if you know?

If you say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to me;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to me.

For I created your inmost being;

I knit you together in your mother's womb.

(Psalm 139:11-13)

Before, you did not exist. But I did.

Darkness did not hide you, you were not hidden from me.

For darkness is as light to me, I brought you into existence.

I made the innermost part of you-your heart, soul, mind.

Before, they did not exist, but I breathed life into you.

I made the very essence of your being.

With much care and love, I knit you together,

I united the parts of you, so you became one being.

And all this was happening

while you were just being formed in your mother's womb,

you were unaware, but I was there,

and I loved you.

I loved you when you were born, 

when you were growing up.

I loved you for all those years when you didn't think I existed.

I loved you when I was hung up onto a cross,

crucified and bleeding,

broken and dying.

And I love you now, and forever more.

***

God's unfailing love- revealed to me this morning :)

note: Only the lines in italics are taken from the bible= God's word (I switched it to be from God's perspective though). Everything else is simply my interpretation of God's message from the verses.

Let it go...

Aside from the fact that I absolutely loved Frozen, this song and I think this picture is COOL...this post is not about the movie.

I want to share about the idea of surrender. The idea of giving my life to God  (my friends, family, possessions, skills, abilities, desires, relationships, interests) has been on my mind for a while and there are times where I have earnestly asked God to take my life. Jesus paid for it on the cross, why should I live as if it is my own?

Nevertheless, 'surrender' remained  (and still is for me) a very abstract concept. Oh how I wished it was a more  tangible, physical action, like a child handing over a lollipop to their parent.

Fortunately (or unfortunately :P ) God heard my prayers, and honoured them more than I could ever imagine. Although moving interstate for Uni may not be a biggie for some, it is honestly a giant leap out of my comfort zone. It's hard knowing what I'd be missing out on in Sydney. Ministry opportunities, a great church, experiencing uni together with my best friends, chilling with family, walking with my brothers and sisters in Christ...playing with my dog Pepper. Yet at the end of the day, something in my heart tells me it is the right decision. This is a step God wants me to take. I'm not too sure where I'm heading, for how long, or why, but for now, I am to take one step at a time. (Even though I want to plan/know 10 steps in advance). Surrender. I think the whole idea is that we don't decide how we serve God, how we use what we've been given, where we go, what our lives will look like, what situations we face, who we have in our lives, who we become...in fact we don't decide anything anymore. We simply tell God, Here I am, the rest is up to Him. And in that moment of glorious surrender-you are free.

Ahoy there!

My name is Debbie :) I think the best way I can introduce myself is as a daughter of Christ. I've spent most of my life not realising that I was missing something, or rather, someone in my life. Someone important, someone great, mighty, beautiful, indescribable, loving, patient, kind, greater than my wildest dreams. It wasn't until 2011 that I found out that the name of this person was Jesus Christ.

Since then, God has taken me on a most wonderful adventure :) He shows me who He is and His incredible love for us.

My hope for this blog is that it may be a vessel for personal reflection, a window into my walk and an encouragement to others. :)  I may post thoughts, questions, verses, drawings, photos and other stuff.

Hoping that you might see glimpses of God between the lines.

Debs