Amidst my wanderings...

Dear Father,

I feel very...broken. 

Discouraged, hopeless, weak, 

estranged from you and your love. 

I need you father, 

but I'm looking for love 

in all the wrong places, 

my heart aches

 because it longs for you, 

yet I only give it 

the fleeting pleasures if the world.

 I want to be alone. 

With you

 I want to dwell in your presence 

and bask in you. 

I want the world to fall silent behind me, 

take me to that place

 where it's just you and me

Where nothing else matters 

but the life and love of a Heavenly Father.

Actual update #1

Hey there! It's been a while, and I'm conscious of the fact that I still haven't really given an actual update of life here in Queensland. 

(this post is probably more tailored to close friends/family whose eyelids won't close in boredom from reading a long, painfully detailed description of my life :P )

A lot yet kind of not much has happened....(wow, really useful and enriching statement!)

Let me take a little tip-toe back down memory lane..

The first night was...really strange. It felt surreal to be in a completely new place, with the reality of living independently (whatever that means) still a vague cloud hanging over me. I had finally done it though, I had taken the first leap outside of my comfort zone and survived. But what happens next is still a mystery to me..

The next day was  a Sunday-time to visit my first Brisbane church! I remember as I was walking along the unfamiliar path to the bus stop, there was this tree that had really beautiful, big yellow flowers. I picked one off the ground and just felt so happy :) As I was walking to the church, there was also a really clean, crisp frangipani which I picked up as well...oh the little things God gives to remind us of His presence :)

Meeting my new roomie a few days later was a massive highlight! The thing with this apartment was that it was kind of a sudden decision borne out of desperation! (aka. confirmed 1 week before moving! :P) I had been praying for a few weeks/months now for God to "prepare a place for me" (church-wise/accommodation/friends/ministry etc.) and unsurprisingly, God had fully answered my prayers to the max with my new roomie Michelle! She's an older sister in Christ who is just so friendly and similar in ways! :) We've decided to have a weekly 'canto night' to eat Chinese food and practice our minimal Cantonese skills...

Night 1: Dumplings (from scratch!) with asian veges + garlic soy sauce!

Night 2: Steamed dried fish with asian sausage, vegetables and brown rice

so good!

anywaysss

Going to Uni has been interesting, I quite like my subjects (Psychology, public health, anatomy, chemistry) and there is definitely a wider variety of people @ Uni. That being said, I haven't really gotten to know too many people. (Maybe avoiding massive social events/parties has played a role...) It's harder to be close to people, which makes me really miss my friends back in Sydney :(

Here's the St Lucia campus:

Hmm what else...

My sister visited all the way from Sydney on her birthday/the weekend which was really nice! We ate and made a LOT of food! such as some home-made toasted granola which I've basically been eating for breakfast everyday since!

(vanilla yoghurt, soy milk, apples, muesli, dried apricot, sultanas, toasted pistachios/oats/pumpkin seeds/cashews)

In general...

I've felt pretty normal. The weeks leading up to moving here were a lot harder, and I thought I would be a lot sadder/lonely/depressed, but surprisingly (by God's grace) everything has been going alright! (apart from my accumulating mountain of uni work...haven't studied since HSC = forgotten how to...)

There are days of exhaustion, confusion and flustering about as I try and figure out what I need to get done. Times of tiredness where I forget that I actually need to find rest in God each day, but also moments of relief as God comforts me in my rebellion.

*Jumps forward* Back to the present, I recently got my brand-spanking-new-shiny-glossy-smart phone! (hence the above pictures!) which is very exciting but equally concerning as I have found it is already a black hole for time.

Anyways, I think that's enough ramble for now, (I commend you dear reader for getting this far! I would give you something but I got nothing...but this epic emoticon which was manly enough to grow a beard: >:{D)